French revolution RIP

The breaking news is that the famous French revolution (1787-1799) has decided to withdraw its chapter from the history books due to embarassment after witnessing the 'Revolution' of Islamabad led by Dr. Tahir ul Qadri. 

What a waste! 5 days of powerful anti-government speeches, vows upon God and the holy book, charges of corruption, number of women infants and elderly in intense cold weather of federal capital under the overcast and at times raining sky - chanting for a revolution that would change the system and bring them food, water, shelter, employment, electricity, gas and sense of freedom from the long-lasted hanging sword of terrorism, but the outcome was a 'Muk-Muka' - a consensus to which Dr. Qadri was against throughout his long march - with the same corrupt government. The original slogan of 'Save State instead of Politics' was optically isomerized to 'Save Politics instead of State'.

The so-called revolution promised a lot; attracted an ocean of masses; showed beautiful vivid images of a better future, but failed to live up to the hype that was generated. It ended up like such a movie - the trailor of which created raves but turned out to be a disaster itself upon a complete watch. Revolution does not end up in a consensus with the accused and with those against which the protest is being done. If this was really a revolution as tipped by Dr. Qadri, then the strugglers of French relovution will surely be tumbling over in their graves. 

'BHAABI'

‘Bhaabi’  –  that saintly and praiseworthy figure which has a remarkable impact on all those with whom this high stature dignitary is closely associated and linked. ‘Bhaabi’ – that glorious and charismatic personality which every nine out of ten guys are privileged to have and is that admirable as well as the notable figure which shadows upon the heads of every guy with the ultimate respect and affection, that is well and truly comparable to that they have for their mothers; well that’s an exaggeration. Such is the esteem of ‘Bhaabi’  - the Sister-in-Law, and as we call it in Urdu language.

‘Bhaabi’ is classified into two main types. First is the one which is related to one’s blood; A brother’s wife. Although this specie of ‘Bhaabi’ is endangered these days, they still acquire a very high rank in a family. This kind of ‘Bhaabi’ attains this high status after going through a long and systematic process of various customs and traditions. This class remains permanent throughout life on most occasions so we can most certainly say about this type of ‘Bhaabi’ that “Once a Bhaabi, Always a Bhaabi”.

The first type is followed by the all important second type of ‘Bhaabi’. These ‘Bhaabies’ can be found in any college or university campus, or they may be found in the academies and even in the public residence areas in homes. This Type of ‘Bhaabi’ have more extensive features and characteristics than the first type may be due to the fact that they have been’ investigated’ more thoroughly. This ‘Bhaabi’ is reversible, mostly more than one, but will always be called as ‘Bhaabi’  and never  by her name even if she is younger to the person whose ‘Bhaabi’ she is.  This is a significant kind of respect. This type of ‘Bhaabi’ is further subdivided into other types as well. Let’s have a closer look at the subdivisions of the most prevalent type of ‘Bhaabi’ that we have.

This type of ‘Bhaabi’ can be any one out of:  a) the genuine Bhaabi  (b) the forced or superimposed Bhaabi and (c) the poke-fun-at Bhaabi.

“The Genuine Bhaabi” is  the subtype of second type of’ Bhaabi’ in which there is mutual consent and expression of feelings between the guy and the girl, hence the girl becomes the ‘Bhaabi’ of the friends of the guy she likes.  This is the simplest type of ‘Bhaabi’ without any complications. Such a ‘Bhaabi’ is the most respected one by the friends of the guy who’s in relationship with that girl a.k.a the ‘Bhaabi”. To disrespect, disobey and dishonor ‘the Genuine Bhaabi’ is considered as a grave sin and such instances may lead to bitter fights among the friends. ‘The Genuine Bhaabi’ can be very dangerous, dominant and possessive hence the friends of the guy are often seen warning him about the risky steps not to be taken as the ‘Bhaabi’ may not like them. The friends are vary of the mood swings of ‘the Genuine Bhaabi’ and they caution their friend about the possibilities of a fight so they are often seen confronting their friend on various issues so that the ‘Bhaabi’ is not hurt by any means. ‘The Genuine Bhaabi’ is taken care of a lot so this line is often heard when the friends say to the guy that: ‘Yaar bhaabi naraaz hojayegi un se ek baar pooch lo!’

Another subdivision is the ‘forced or superimposed bhaabi’. In this type, the girl doesn’t know that she has been given this noble title. The guy likes a girl and in order to make his notorious friends stay away from her, he superimposes his authority and convinces them psychologically that the girl really belongs to him.  He does that by continuously referring her as his friend’s ‘Bhaabi’ by saying things like:  ‘oye sharam karo bhaabi pe ghalat nazar??’ and ‘yaar tumhari bhaabi aayi hai aaj ya nahi?? And ‘bhaaiyo tumhari  bhaabi aaj bohat pyaari lag rahi hai mashaAllah’….There comes a point that the friends are psychologically brainwashed and manipulated to such an extent that they consider this manipulation as the reality and they start calling that girl ‘Bhaabi’,  hence the ‘forced or superimposed bhaabi’ is formed.

The third subtype is the ‘poke-fun-at Bhaabi’. This existence of this type of ‘Bhaabi’ comes up out of mocking and teasing by a group of friends to any particular friend just for the sake of fun. The friends pick out the most annoying or the most unattractive girl from a group and associate her with the targeted friend. Some of the lines are like this: When the girl makes an entry in class- ‘Oye yaar daikh hamari bhaabi aagayi’ or ‘check kar bhaabi tujhay daikh rahy hai’ or ‘oye hoye aaj tou barri matching ki hui hai dono ne :P’. Although such self created ‘bhaabies’ are not the actual ones, they fit in the above mentioned definition of ‘Bhaabi’ quite well as they are eventually respected in the same manner as the genuine ones, subconsciously.

‘Bhaabi’ of main second category is found everywhere, in every house, in every class, in every college and in every set up. Each female is a ‘Bhaabi’ to somebody in any one way or the other out of the above mentioned types. Women Rights activists must take a note of the respect that each ‘bhaabi’ gets from the society. The predominance of such respect and affection would be encouraging for them. A unique way of giving respect to females by our people, isn’t it?

Mouse away from House: Indian Team

Before the England Tour:

Dravid: Let’s have some practice guys; English tour is round the corner.

Yuvraj: Oh come on man we are tired after winning the World Cup while you were sleeping at home.

Tendulkar: Are you mad Dravid? A player like me does not need any practice. I’ll start making centuries right away in England. You go to Caribbean and play against a low ranked West Indies. I will play IPL and have some rest.

Dhoni: Even I don’t feel like playing against the West Indies but it will give me an opportunity to boost up my average by remaining NOT OUT.

Raina: I am not afraid of Short-Pitch stuff anymore as I hit them out of the park in IPL. English tour is going to be a piece of cake.

Harbajjan: I have over 400 test wickets. We are the number 1 side in World. We need to celebrate our success.

Zaheer: Okay guys since I’ll give my 200% to Mrs. Ambani’s IPL team, don’t expect me to be fully fit for no-so-important English tour. We are the WORLD CHAMPIONS after all.

Gambhir:  I don’t feel like playing without my partner Sehwag L. I can not score without his support.

Sehwag: Even though I am injured, but by the time I return to the side, we will be already 2 up in the series and I’ll straight away blast a Triple ton on my return as I have been doing it on Indian pitches. . Even Ajit Agarkar and Anil Kumble have scored centuries in England. I will score the big ones.

BCCI: Yes boys, enjoy the glamour of IPL, skip the tour of West Indies and go to England without any fear. ICC will make sure our authority over Cricket World. Money speaks after all.

After the Tour of England:

Team India: Walls are supposed to have ‘ears’ alone, idiomatically, but this Wall (Dravid) has a brain too. Perhaps we should have listened to him instead of playing IPL and skipping the tour of West Indies.

BCCI: Sorry guys, English Cricket board refused to take bribe. We couldn’t buy the series like we bought the World Cup. Get ready for the upcoming Champions League though.

Moral: 1) Every pitch is not a batting paradise like Kanpur. You can not play in India forever and claim                     

                  to be the World’s best.  

              2) Arrogance leads to downfall.

The Greatest Father-in-Law

In a society where In-Laws are mostly found to be envious, wicked and cunning people, Muhammad Ilyas has always defied this perception by proving it absolutely bogus. Had there been a noble prize for the most sincere Father-in-Law, no one else would have been more deserving than Mr. Ilyas. Mr. Ilyas has proved yet again that he stongly believes in family bonding as he has just been successful in arranging a gazzilionth 'honeymoon' for his daughter and his favorite Son-in-Law, this time to Zimbabwe. Take a bow for being so sincere with your family, Mr. Ilyas.

Imran Farhat has been named in the squad for Zimbabwe that is announced today primarily because of two obvious reasons. 1) His Pro-PCB commentary during the Faysal Bank T20 tournament in Faisalabad, where young deserving openers were knocking the doors of PCB with each run they were scoring and 2) as usaual the ever loving Father-in-Law's 'parchi'. Being an 'influential' member of the selection committe, Muhammad Ilyas has never missed any opportunity to create a 'foreing trip' for his son-in-law. "Sussar ho tou Aisa..."

Can any one please dare to ask Mr. Ilyas and respected Chairman PCB that what good has Mr. Brain Charles Farhat achieved while he was in the national side and during the domestic tournaments? Did he even play the recently conducted domestic tournament? No he didn't. If the players like Sharjeel Khan, who performed brilliantly in that tournament, are not selected then what is the purpose of arranging such tournaments? To give an opportunity to players like Farhat so that they can analyze the game while sitting in the media box and make their way back into the national side without even playing any competitive cricket? The criteria for the selection of players like Farhat is just a nod from his Father-in-Law?Then indeed, Pakistan Cricket is on its way to Glory of Downfall!!

American Born Confused Desi ABCD

Shall I call him 'Abbu' or shall I call him 'Dad'? Shall I call her 'Daadi' or shall it be 'Grandma' in front of my friends? Shall I speak in Urdu or English with my Mother? Shall I make fun of the unusual dressing and a strange accent of those who have migrated from my mother land or shall I remain silent and think about my own distant relatives back home? Shall I enjoy the luxurious facilities at my birth place or shall I ridicule the lack of such lavishness at my parent's birth place? I am occupied with so many confusions; Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi!

You give me any gadget and I'll show how it works. You ask me all the latest about action games/movies and I'll give you each and every bit of information. You look at my music collection and you'll be amazed to find the quality of hip-hop and rock. You take away my laptop/PSP/Nintendo/Play station and I am unable to survive. You make me watch 'Gone with the Wind' and I'll say what a boring senseless movie. You make me listen to Ustaad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan or Muhammad Rafi and I'll close my ears with both hands before turning it off. I live in America in an American Style but yet I like to be known as a Pakistani - Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi!

I like the rare sunshine in my State, yet I hate the sunshine when I go to Pakistan. I hardly go there. I've just been there a couple of times for about a couple of weeks, yet I have made strong impressions about it. I have been there in summers, and I assume that the weather is always boiling hot in Pakistan. It's not my fault to make this assumption because I've never been to Pakistan in December or January. I don't like the rough condition of roads; I hate the pollution; I hate the awful smell of the feces of buffalo. This is Pakistan for me. The whole of Pakistan! It's not my fault if I haven't been to Islamabad or the posh areas of Lahore or Karachi. I assume no one in Pakistan can speak or understand English. It's not my fault if I have not been to some of the International level schools and Colleges throughout the country. I hate 'daal-sabzi' that I used to eat or the meat which had a foul smell; I hated Pakistan even more with each bolus that I unwillingly used to swallow. It's not my fault if I haven't been told about Hardees or Nando's or McDonalds or KFC chains throughout the big cities of Pakistan. I used to hate the 'lota' system in the toilets although it is much hygienic then the 'toilet paper' system back in the America. I can drink water from the sink in America but I was dependent on mineral water throughout my stay in Pakistan; Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi!

The city of Peshawar was an hour away from the village where I was staying. The chappli kababs were so delicious that irrespective of how many my stomach would allow, my hands were unable to resist. The other day I was in hospital due to dehydration caused by diarrhea. I started the blame game. Definitely it was Pakistan that made me sick, not that the case was my over-eating; Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi!

I'll look at the snaps of the beautiful locations of Northern areas of Pakistan and I'll confuse it with any location in Switzerland because no one has ever told me about such an amazing beauty of Pakistan. Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi!

No matter how much I hate visiting Pakistan, I cry whenever Pakistan Cricket Team loses a match. Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi. I live in a place where there is no load shedding of both electricity and gas; yet I hate Zardari for the stories which I've heard about his corruption and the load shedding in Pakistan although it makes no difference to my life; Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi.

For me, Pakistan is just a small rural village which is located somewhere near the glamorous Bollywood; yet I want India to lose when it is playing against Pakistan. Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi. I can go clubbing, I can have a bit of whisky, I can obligate namaz just once in a year; yet I'll ALWAYS buy a fish burger from McDonald's- the only HALAL product they have. Yes, I am an American-Born-Confused-Desi.

If the Doctor is Handsome....

Height- 6'4; chest- broad; complexion- fair-- Yes the Doctor is Handsome! An original Marks & Spenser grayish collar shirt with a branded plain tie and a jet black dress pant with a trendy belt - Indeed the Doctor is Handsome. An expensive original Seiko hanging down to his left wrist; stylish boots of original Clarks covering his feet ; properly gelled and spiky hair; a unique framed specs along with the frangrance of Brut - Truly, the Doctor is Handsome.

Fiza, 19, has just started her Fashion designing course in one of the top Institution in this field. Happy-go-lucky by nature, she's still single and apparently, she's not planning to cry after a guy unlike most of her friends do, at least not any soon. She is social; she is out-going; she loves to party; she has a motto in her life - No love, No Tension.

Mrs. Fozan, wife of a retired bureaucrat and mother of Fiza, is a chronic hypertensive patient along with a tendency of mood-swings - probably a natural one if you have 3 daughters who are still unmarried and a retired husband at home. Fiza, the second amongst her siblings, is responsible to take her mother to the hospital on Saturdays - the day of Mrs. Fozan's appointment with her counselor.

It's Saturday. Mrs. Fozan is having an extended session with her counselor in Medical ward 4 who is trying to overcome the tendencies of her mood-swings with the help of verbal therapy. Fiza is waiting outside - not observing the hustle and bustle around her, thanks to the technology in her hand which is sending impulses to her cochlea via headphones and she's moving her lips along with the impulses that are generated. Her eyes, suddenly, perceive another stimulus. A tall, good-looking, well-dressed man in a white over-all with a stethoscope around his neck and a clip-board in his hand is seen. The impulse of her eyes has got better off the impulse of her ears. She's unable to take her eyes off the young House Officer, around 24. Surely, The Doctor is Handsome!

'Mom i guess you should start having sessions with your counselor more than once a week' says Fiza on her way back. 'Beta I don't need that much counseling, I am not in a worse stage' Mrs Fozan is satisfied with one session a week.

Mrs. Fozan is getting surprized by the concern being showed by her daughter like never before. This is the fourth cosecutive week in which Fiza has reminded her mother of her appointment while making sure that she gets ready in time. Fiza's eyes are again looking for Ahsan Khan, the only information that she has got about her love-at-first-sight. She is unable to understand the reason for her being shy in-front of him, because it is completely against her nature. It's not that she is ugly, she has rejected many decent-looking guys while she was in A-levels, and she is pretty much a beautiful looking girl. For the first time, she has admired a guy and she doesn't know how to respond.

Three months are gone without even a single chat. Mrs. Fozan is very much out of her mood-swing phases. Fiza has no choice but to go alone to the hospitals, 3-4 times a week now. She wants this mysterious feeling to end once for all. She has had many sleepless nights, many workless days, much meal-less times. She has decided to talk to the Doctor today. She is in a 'babe-look'

'Errmm Excuse me, My name is Fiza' 'How can I help you Miss?'. The reply came in a deep decent respectful voice. Truly the Doctor is Handsome. 'Well, I am having sleepless nights, I can't concentrate on anything, I am unable to remain happy even if i try to'... 'Ohh, may be you should consult a Psychiatrist, such things happen at your age, may be you are having an exam-phobia or something' Fiza was expecting a better reply from the Doc. 'No it's not related to studies, and I don't need a Psychiatrist, you are a Doctor, can't you help me out?' 'But you see I am just a house officer doing my house job, this is not my field' There was no way the Doctor was going to entertain that poor girl no matter how sweet she was trying to be. The Doctors are unromantic, she thinks.

'I think I should give him a call on the number which I got from his collegue in the hospital'. Fiza decides. 'I am sorry I didn't recognize you....Oh that young girl?? How can I serve you now?' There is a little hardening of voice from his side; he is clearly disturbed by the call. Fiza tells her that she has something for him. The last think she expects is her call being dropped. She thinks there is a network problem. She tries again. And again, and again. And finally she is surprised to find her number to be blocked. 4 months of wilderness without a success. Fiza cries and decides to lock up herself in her room.

'Am I so bad to be behaved like this by a guy?' Fiza asks her best-friend, Amina. Amina tries to cheer her up and convince her to attend her party at evening.

'Had it not been for the over-all and steths, this guy looks exactly a carbon copy of Ahsan.' Fiza is thinking after watching a guy in the party. But she is heart-broken. She is not thinking about him. She is with her friends as she hears a manly voice. 'Can i join you guys?' Amina nods. He is starting a conversation with Fiza. His name is Danial. Fiza is starting to enjoy the conversation after an initial stage of irritation. Amina and her other friends are giving them both some moments of private discussion. Life's good again.

Fiza is at this hospital. It has been a year since Mrs. Fozan last had a session with her counselor. Fiza is un-concerned with her surroundings. She is busy in texting Danial. Ahsan has probably left for his Post-Graduate training in US. As if she cares? She has got well over him.

Fiza concludes that no matter how many apples you keep away and throw in the garbage, and no matter how much the Doctor is handsome, don't go after him because he has undergone a special training of brutality being imposed over him for 5 years which ultimately turns his heart into a stone without any feelings.

The moral of the story is: Even if the Doctor is Handsome, Do Not keep the apple away. [:P]